

Instead it's a dull, interactive movie, punctuated only by your guided clickingsand inexorable groans. For instance, this could've been a brilliant survival game in which you were left entirely to your own devices, forced to figure out how living on an island worked.

That's a shame, because despite every Sims game defecating on my optimism in ever larger amounts, there's a part of me that thinks they might produce something worthwhile again.

Every step of every action is clearly dictated for you -from finding a hatchet, to feeding an orangutan, to adopting that ape as a pet and giving it a job - there's little freedom to be had on your island refuge. The house building and character creation has been done away with in favour of a rigid storyline built around The Sims 2s interface. This is the third Stories title in the series, continuing the tradition of taking you by the hand with bone-crushing firmness and leading you down a linear path of objectives. Is it eating it in a suggestive manner? Or something even more crude? It's a cheeky mystery. As well as this, when you hand an ape a banana it retreats into a bamboo thicket, squats, and commits an act that must be obscured by a pixelated box of censorship. So this game advocates pissing in the ocean - the most fiendishly feral thing a human being can do. A Nice Touch in The Sims Castaway Stories, when you swim in the ocean, not only does your hygiene bar increase, but so does your bladder bar.
